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Wednesday, October 14, 2015

TRUE heART Therapy ...and return to the Blog!

So... *sheepishly toeing the ground* been awhile since I managed a Blog Update. 
--- try the beginning of JUNE Sarah!!! *tongue cluck* ---
er... yeah... stuff - excuses - life - excuses- um...
I'm here now! That's all that matters. 

Few changes since June, some good, some not so good, some FOOKIN' FABULOUS!

I'll start with the BEST... 
Days End Studio IS on the Web!!!
My ART was approved, after a -so stressed I didn't sleep, drove my husband and family crazy, ack!- wait on their (slowwwwww) juried approval process. 
NOW many of my ORIGINAL pieces can be found for sale 
HERE 
...and I'm always making MORE!

PLUS... 
I also uploaded many, many more pieces for sale as print-ables:
Clothing, coffee mugs, travel mugs, posters, prints, phone - laptop - tablet covers, pencil cases, backpacks, tote bags, spiral bound - hard cover notebooks, throw pillows, scarves... etc...

The not so good is a medical issue... 
Though I really, really try to keep personal sh-tuff off the blog, this time there is ART attached that needs a little... LUCY, ya got some explaining to do! 

I turned 40 this year and decided to take matters in hand regarding excess weight so I started with a local medical weight loss program. Part of the start was a full.... and I mean FULL work up, poke-prod-test and re-test to make sure there were no additional medical issues that would make it hard or unsafe to proceed. 
They found something. 
My ECG/EKG had a Long QT so I was sent to The Heart Institute for further checking etc...
There is always a SHINY in every situation if you look... The bright spot in this is, temporarily, I was assigned to a very nice cardiologist. Yes, um... nice. If he counts as a celebrity, Liem Neason gets the BOOT off my Free-Three List (keeping Ryan Reynolds and Gerard Butler) easily sliding into slot #1. The most amazing eyes I've ever seen, when he smiles *gasp* and his voice makes me feel all sorts of things. I suspect he's broken as many hearts as he's healed. 
With apologies to Supernatural, we'll call him Dr. Sexy. 
Dr. Sexy put me on the 1st approved meds (there are really only 2 things that will 'work' for this) and things were OK for awhile. Until last week on Friday I fainted, then spent much of the weekend only semi-conscious and generally unable to care for myself. After talking to the pharmacist late Saturday, I stopped the drugs Sunday and Monday and called Dr. WFG (Waiting for Genetics) office on the Monday. His office sent it back to Dr. Sexy's office and after some back and forth Dr. Sexy -called me at home- Monday Night and it was decided I would head to emergency. Youngest son's birthday party was already in progress, so we opted to wait until after guests cleared out to go. Dr. Sexy called in a 'reservation' ahead of us at Emergency so things went smoothly, dare I say fast, that night. The other minor amusement was being able to hand my OHIP card over and say I had a reservation under 'Cooper' and have the intake nurse fully play along, smiles are good, big huge grins are better. 
Nothing much to report that night. We came, they tested we left. 
Next day was a flurry of calls from Dr. WFG and Dr. Sexy's offices. Told to cut the meds to 1/2, but start taking them again immediately and an appointment was booked for Friday with Dr. Sexy. 
So far the 1/2 dose is still making my tired, dizzy etc... but that -should- even out. Dr. Sexy was amazingly patient with the myriad of questions collected between both my Mom and Husband. Poor Guy... 
Now I must wait for genetic testing to find out which type and if I have passed this on to my children. It will be a long wait... there are only 2 doctors in the city that deal with Long QT Syndrome and one is away til January. Sadly it is not Dr. Sexy's specialty. 
(lol, bored yet? This is why I keep the personal sh-tuff off the blog... not so fun) 

ahem... 
ON WITH THE ART... 
Decided the best thing to help -me- deal with the stress-anxiety-unkown around this Heart issue was intuitive/therapy painting... 
A heART Therapy Project.
This is what's happened so far:
Red and Pink (rose scented) candles lit, assortment of green stones on desk. 
Used one of the canvas I load leftover paint on to make texture, Grey... seemed a good start for the grey areas I feel sh-tuck in with this til after the genetic testing. 
Painted it with Blue Moon water (usually do this with my art)
 Then I just started to write, just spew-age without thinking or editing and got it (all?) out. 
Once done writing, washed the entire canvas in paint with a few drop of rose oil in it. 
A bit of my journaling faded away at this stage.
Next I grabbed pink and green paint at random and squirted and sponged it on, for the heart, covering the canvas, with layers and  layers and layers... 
When it was completely dry, I noticed my thoughts were -completely- gone but the LQTS was still visible. 
Interesting. 
Then I drew and painted...

It is not done yet. 
I can feel that... but this is the way it will stay while I wait.
Questions waiting for answers... 

This is also me being BRAVE.
I felt raw the whole time working on this and I still feel very tender. 
But my husband pushed for me to share this rather than just hang (read:hide) it on our wall, why I'm back on the blog, and as I shared on the Days End Studio Facebook Page:


To all the ARTISTS, WRITERS, ACTORS, DREAMERS... and EVERYONE ELSE... 

yes YOU... 

Do 1 thing each day that makes you FEEL brave...

Today, in a very special group, I shared a piece of highly personal ART that in posting made me feel vulnerable and RAW to the very core... 
Do I care if people like it? 
Do I care if others think it's 'pretty' or 'ugly'? 
Do I care if they understand it's meaning? 
Does it need to be understood?
NO. 
I was BRAVE today and -that- is all that matters.

Better out than in... and now... onward! 
Thank-YOU for taking the time to read *applauding* if you made it down to here.
~ Sarah ~ 

- Waiting Heart -
12" X 16" 
Acrylic on Canvas


In Progress... 

 


 

 

Done... For now. 




Sub Note: 
The Feather Necklace
A gift from my Mom for an 'anniversary' of sorts... 
I am a survivor of domestic abuse. 
Gifted to remind me that I have survived so much already and that I CAN keep going. 
I wear it every day . 



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