The Red Key
8 1/2" X 11" Page.
Journaling:
My search is over... I now *KNOW* where MY Red Key belongs...
Turn the Key... continue on...
***********
Where does my Red Key go? How did I get it?
It started with a tug back in April to buy a Blank Book…
Just after my Birthday, first week of April. Because it was
on sale?… Did I *need* another Book? Why Did I buy a Book? This Book? …so very not my usual style.
There were many other things I ‘needed’ or ‘desired’…. But I
bought this Book?! I asked myself these questions many times
over the next few months as I moved the book around my Studio, from surface to
surface. No matter where I left it or tried to stash it ‘out of the way’…
somehow *it* was in my path… again and again.
Fast forward to May… I was out of commission for almost 6
week in pain… fire like pain running through, coursing through, every fiber of
my being. I slept. I did not dream… I
felt restless. Some of the restlessness was pain, beg you understand, but under
that… there was something else. Something that wouldn’t let me feel fully
rested.
Fast forward again, this time to mid-June, finally, started
to emerge again thanks to new medications and a new diagnosis of Fibromyalgia
to sit company with ADD, SAD, Endometriosis and Chronic Hyperuricemia (which
rips crystal through my blood stream, shredding bit by bit, causing Gouty
Arthritis and has my Kidneys shutting down at an accelerated rate). I have always believed in the power of words
and the naming of things… this new demon had a name, with a name *I* have the
power over it.
When I ‘came to’ in June I felt different, not anything I
could put a finger on… find the words for… the restlessness of the past weeks
was still there… but now I knew it wasn’t just the pain talking. I *had* a name
for that… this I could not define so easily.
I started seeing The Red Key popping up in conversation I
was hearing the last bits of, whispers here and there… and they brought me a
warm, soft, glowing curiosity. I needed to know what this was about. Got
the details and despite the financial portion being a huge issue for us, I
bravely brought this new foundling of an idea to my husband and *he did not
hesitate*. The encouragement was overwhelming… we balanced and juggled and
actually cancelled a few things so I could continue with this ‘Journey’… this
‘Quest’ I wasn’t even sure WHY I needed to take. This unnamed NEED.
So now I am *HERE* at Cosmic
Cowgirls University…
soaking in warmth, basking in the cozy glow of the fire these women have set
out for us…
Knowing that it could and will set me on fire if and when I
step fully in…
THAT is what I want, THAT is what I desire…
I Am Here.
The first step was to think and visualize OUR Red Key…
What did it look like? What did it open? More and more
questions… The Question?
I listened to the recorded phone call, sitting back in my
Studio chair; eyes closed and just let myself drift with the melodious voices
coming through my laptop speakers.
I saw a red haze… I felt warmth… I wanted to be closer so I
let myself drift forward.
A Key came into focus… it was a red, rusty, old key… the
kind I love so much. But it was more… indefinably more… It was drifting in
front on me, emanating warmth… drifting, attached to a wisp of untwisted, raw,
red thread… floating… waiting…
I reached out with no hesitation and grasped it… when my
fingers closed around it I could feel it in the palm of my hand… pulsing and
warm… as if it was a living thing with it’s own unique heartbeat… There was a
sense of ‘aaahhhhhh…’ ‘THIS is right, so very, very right’. The thread started
to wrap around me, it was soft, soft and silky and warm… like a blanket it wove
itself around and around, surrounding me like a shroud… so warm, so comforting…
The Key in my hand warmed and a red glow began to emanate
from between my fingers, it got hotter… but not uncomfortable. I slowly
uncurled my fingers one by one…
The Key was glowing now, getting brighter and brighter… and
warming. It was glowing a bright red like it was fresh from the forging fires…
I could feel it’s heat coursing up through all the fibers of my being. Pain was
disappearing… I could just feel warmth and the soft silk of the Red Shroud
wrapped around me…
Then…
I started to hear softly, in the distance… birds, cicadas,
the soft buzz of bees and the quick fluttering of fairy like wings I hear when
my Muse is about… I looked down and there was a gravel path beneath my feet… it
led forward.
I started to drift forward and the sounds got louder…
I could smell things too… Roses? Lilacs?... GREEN… I could
smell the scents of a garden in the warm Summer Sun… the sounds continued and I
turned a corner on the path before me…
There…. There it was… a Gate… a wrought iron garden gate
before me, set into an old stone wall… Blue clear skies above and the teasing
glimpse of lushness beyond the gate.
I had been here before with my Muse in dreams. I had smelled
these scents before, felt the soft warm sun on my head and shoulders… but I had
never before had a way to get in. I always had a taste, a tease… a rose plucked
by reaching through the gate as far as my fingers could reach. But never before
I had I been able to pass through that gate to see and experience what lay
beyond.
I could actually taste the heat and roses now… and something
more… the taste of a Summer Day… soaked in sun…
Suddenly I realized the pulsing Red Key in the palm of my
hand was reaching a fever pitch, I looked down and it was now glowing brighter…
it almost hurt my eyes to behold it… I saw another red glow from the corner of
my eye and looked up…
The Lock… on the Gate… it was glowing too!
It was soft at first, but as I stepped forward and reached
with the hand holding the Red Key it got brighter and brighter… I could feel
heat emanating from the metal… again much like the Key I felt as if it *should*
be burning me up… but instead it was warm, comforting… and right.
I slipped the Red Key into that Lock… and they started to
pulse together in tandem, a beat that matched my own pounding heart… I started
to turn The Key in The Lock…
…and then the recorded phone call ended, suddenly, and I was
pulled back to the here and now in the Studio.
I was shocked at how vivid this experience was.
How the warmth of the Red Shroud still clung around me… The
heat of the Key in my hand still lingered… My heart still beat in time with the
pulsing from the Lock… I could still smell the roses… amazing.
So yes… yes I know this is where I NEED to be. I am ready
Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit to turn the Red Key in that Garden Gate and step
forward to see the beautiful bounty beyond, walk the Paths laid out before me, cloaked
in my Red Shroud… Ready, oh so Ready.
